For the first installment of Let’s Talk, our new advice column, we’ve asked NYC It-Girl Kiera McNally to help our readers with their troubles. If you’d like advice on anything please ask here.
I wanna be more productive and creative. I’m very into painting, drawing, writing and photography. It’s not that I don’t like my style I just don’t feel I have one…I love what other people do and wish I came up with their ideas but I cannot think of anything I like, you know. How do I get my creative juices flowing + where do I start?
Dear Juicy Flow,
Someone told me once that art is like “mining for gold.” I think the only difference between you and the artists you admire is that they just keep trying to find the gold, probably shovelling through a bunch of dog shit before they ever find a sweet nugget. You have taste and you know what you like (which is the first step in doing anything) so I encourage you to put on your prospector hat and dig up a bunch of dirt. Get your hands dirty! Maybe one day you’ll be rich. I love gold. Don’t be lazy! How do you get to Carnegie hall? Right?
I can’t fart in front of my partner and it causes me both emotional and physical pain. I’ve gone to extreme measures to hide the farts (sounds and odours) from my partner, measures that I’m too ashamed to detail here. I’m sure my partner would be fine with my flatulence and that it is just my own psychological block but how do I overcome my fear of farts?
Dear Fart Friend,
I feel your pain, and I smell your fear. I definitely think you’re just going to have to let one rip. Or else you never know…after days of not shitting followed by a big burrito and a couple drinks…your partner may have to throw you in the shower and wipe your ass after you’ve blacked out and shit yourself. To avoid such a stinky situation, I recommend breaking the tension (and the wind), with a romantic gas-y dinner for two. Later on under the sheets, just sneak a heinie hiccup! Hopefully both of your ass acoustics will be insane in the methane! A butt bonding experience! Maybe you’ll even dig eachother’s brand?! Sphincter soul-mates.
What is the best dish to eat while reading “The Editorial” ? I’ve been eating artichoke, but it doesn’t feel right inside my mouth as I read. Please respond it is urgent. For I’m allergic to artichoke and my throat is closing.
Maybe try something a lil’ sweeter on the lips? The Editorial Mag is not hard to swallow and neither should your snack be!
I am really confused and don’t really know what i’m doing. What am I doing?
I dunno. Hopefully something sexy!
My boyfriend of about a year never says “I love you.” He used to say it more when we were first seeing eachother but now I’m lucky if I get it once a month. I told him that I don’t feel secure without hearing those words and he said he isn’t a romantic. He doesn’t like saying “love,” prefers dirty sex, and isn’t very affectionate. He says he is who he is, and that he won’t change. Is my boyfriend just not in love with me anymore?
No More I Love Yous
Dear No More I Love Yous,
I love you. Does that make you feel better? I don’t even know you, so it shouldn’t. Your boyfriend knows you, and you know him. Probably a lot better now, then when you were first seeing each other. Do you need him to say those words or can he show it in his own way? Even an asshole can say “I love you.” But only you know what you really need from a relationship. Is it words that provide security or is it something else? Because if wining-and-dining romance is what you really need, stop whining and start dining with someone else.
I really need advise on how to stop stressing out about stupid things. I will probably beat myself up for even writing this because I will think its dumb or I could have done it better. I constantly regret the things I do when they aren’t all that bad and I spend most of my time unhappy and on edge worrying about it and generally just feeling SHIT. I struggle to laugh about things and get over them quickly. How can I move on from this mindset?? It’s almost harder to grow up like this (Im 16) :(
I definitely can relate. I’m stressing out too! I feel like the absolute worst person to give life advice. But I’m trying :) hopefully we can both try and fail and embarrass ourselves enough times till it just doesn’t seem so scary to mess up. But you’re right, this question totally sucks. Never try ever. Jk. Wasn’t so bad right?!? No one gives a shit, so relaxative!
My girlfriend told me she didn’t want me to smoke weed anymore. She made me choose between being with her or getting high and so I broke up with her. I don’t like being told what to do! Now I miss her sometimes…but i’ll never give up my bong!
Dear Bong Baby,
If you love weed so much why don’t you just marry it? Not saying you should marry that girl (she makes such harsh ultimatums…) but you can’t spend your life with Mary-Jane. I totally respect your girl for being bored with a burn out, but making people choose and forcing change hurts everyone. Can’t you two come to some sort of compromise? Like no blazing the saddle when you are hanging out? Just an idea. But if you’re stubborn and she’s had enough of your doobie smoking attitude, you might have to blow your pipe alone.
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